No" is not failure. Used strategically it's an answer that opens the path forward
Chris Voss is a former international hostage negotiator for the FBI and presented practical tactics for high- stakes negotiations in his book, Never Split The Difference. Chris Voss met with terrorists, bank robbers and other criminals face to face in his career as a hostage negotiator. He reached the apex in his profession and made a position as an international kidnappings negotiator in the FBI.
Never Split the Difference will give you an exposure to the inside world, and will make you aware of the skills which can help in saving others' lives, in high-stakes negotiation. This book shares 9 effective principles which anyone can use in personal and professional life to become persuasive and successful.
Never Split the Difference will give you a winning edge in discussions as life is a continuous pattern of negotiations. Our negotiation starts when we talk about salary, buying a new car, renegotiating rent,buying a home and much more.
1.Negotiation Starts with Listening
This is the first and cheapest step we can take to accept and understand people, a universally applicable premise. Listening intensely is a sincere desire to understand exactly what the others are experiencing and creating an atmosphere of trust to begin a real conversation.
2. Mirror Principle
Great negotiator uses mirror principles to deliver empathy to the other side to buy their time and regroup them. Some people think negotiation is a battle of arguments but in reality it is a process of uncovering as much information as possible. And people who think that way may come with an overwhelmed mind and a good negotiator is open to all possibilities of arrogance and faith.
3. Label the feelings
Good negotiators use tactical empathy to know about one's mindset and to assess what's behind the feelings in order to fully understand the scenario to make an agreement.
Tactical empathy is about an alignment process that our brain starts when we closely observe a person's gesture, tone of voice and face also called neural resonance which helps us in what others feel and think at the moment.
4. "No" Beginning of Negotiation
"No" is a great opportunity for a good negotiator to eliminate what you don't want and a start of real negotiation. "No" delivers the following different meanings.
Not agree yet
Feel uncomfortable
I don't get it
I can't afford
Need more to know
Discuss with someone else
Make it workable
Similarly, "Yes" also accompanied:
Counterfeit
Commitment
Confirmation
A "Counterfeit -Yes" is an easy way to escape or your counterpart seeks more information.
A "Confirmation- Yes" is a simple and innocent confirmation with no guaranteed action. Sometimes it is also used to lay a trap.
A "Commitment -Yes'' is the true agreement and real deal which ends with the signature in the contract. The commitment "Yes" is what you want but the three types sound similar so you have to learn it.
5. Trigger Words-Transform any Negotiation
Convincing your counterpart to compel them to say, "That's right", needs something different to say which will help you to create breakthroughs in negotiation.
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